shh.

bedahbelacan @ 2009-12-16T22:06:00

2009-12-16T14:06:46Z

what the flying fuck. are there no more bored 30 year olds on saturday mornings anymore?!

oh wait, that doesn't sound right.

vie de merde!

2009-12-13T19:52:15Z

i have to wake up in a few hours because i have to sit for the last paper of the fall semester at 2pm. i'm rushing down to work right after that, and its going to be hell. the schedule says we shoot will end at 9pm which, of course, means we will overrun and only wrap at 11pm and only finish loading the equipment by midnight IF WE'RE LUCKY. add the lack of cigarettes into the mix, and you'll sense my devastation. but i have faith in my anne (:

also - i know i keep harping on it and am starting to sound like a raving prejudiced bigot but i really cannot respect fans of the twilight books. the movies, i can forgive. mostly because that hysteria is founded on mass marketing anyway but also because the movies, compressed into two hours, lack the sick-mormon-virgin-vampire-fantasy details and resort to cheesy alternatives. such as visualising her 'depression', represented by various EMPTY PAGES in the book, with 'i am depressed boohoo' montages. MONTAGES. you know what feature films use montages as a crutch? ROMCOM. cheese! fromage. MERDE. it really disturbs me when people i actually used to like now irk me because they like twilight. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MMMMMEEEEEEE. i really should stop being such an ass.

am going to make myself feel better now.
with some moose (:

bedahbelacan @ 2009-12-08T23:47:00

2009-12-08T15:47:46Z

hello people of the world. i'm thinking of taking a trip to jakarta to see placebo in february. they're playing on the 16th but i plan to go on the 14th and leaving on the 18th, but its not concrete. its just mary and i for now, but the more the merrier (:

i was petrified that i was going to be broke by the time next year rolls around but anne just called earlier with an answer to my ~~prayers~~begging god. so maaaaybe i'll go get myself a phone to save everyone the trouble whenever they try to get to me. huhu.

bedahbelacan @ 2009-12-06T21:41:00

2009-12-06T13:41:33Z

Why does my life have to be so small? Yet death is forever. And does forever have a life to call its own? Don't give me an answer 'cause you only know as much as I know... unless you're been there once? Well I hardly think so. Do you think you're indestructible and no one can touch you? Well I think you're disposable and it's time you knew the truth... 'Cause it's just one of my lies. Well, it's just one of my lies. And all I wanted to was get real high. Well, it's just one of my lies. I used to pray all night before I lay myself down. My mother said it was right. Her mother said it too...

Why?

DOOKIE

2009-12-01T19:47:59Z

<----------------------- your shit ----------------------> | <----------- my shit ----------->

<----------------------- your shit ----------------------> | <---------- my shit ----------->

so young, so angry. damn that rap music.

2009-12-01T19:01:54Z

this is my december, these are my snow covered trees.

2009-11-30T19:03:17Z

this is me pretending. this is all i need.

cheese!

HELLO FREAKS! AS YOUR BELOVED KING JULIAN, I DEMAND A SACRIFICE!

2009-11-25T17:52:08Z

i'm a very mean person. i make fun of people when they like something that i don't.

Twilight Fans Get Punked - watch more funny videos

"If I, King Julian (that's my name), only had two days to live, I would do all the things I have ever dreamed of doing. I would love to become a professional whistler. I'm pretty amazing at it now, but I wanna get, like, even better. (Whistles) And you know what else I would do? I would invade a neighboring country and impose my own ideology on them, even if they didn't want it!"

i heart school

2009-11-20T19:33:12Z

when i was a kid i thought i wanted all the things that i haven't got. but i learned the hardest way. then i realised what it took to tell the difference between thieves and crooks - a lesson learnt for me and you. give me something that i need, satisfaction guaranteed to you. and i'm thinking about the only road, the one i've never known and where it goes. but i'm thinking about a brand new hope - the one i've never known. 'cause now i know it's all that i wanted.

what's the consolation prize? economy sized dreams of hope?

bedahbelacan @ 2009-11-18T12:40:00

2009-11-18T04:40:07Z

they're stuck again and this time i'm seriously petrified.
anyway. here's an advertisement: Ibu is available to teach ngaji to beginners of any gender, race and age. classes can be held at my place or yours, it's up to you and her timing is very flexible. i'm biased i know, but i guarantee my mum is top notch (eh don't look at me as an example, i'm her daughter not her student. hehaw.)

we kind of really need this right now, so please help if you can. thanks ♥

bedahbelacan @ 2009-11-17T10:45:00

2009-11-17T02:45:13Z

si abang2 mesjid is actually quite ok, i really shouldnt have been so quick to judge him.
*scoots off to group meeting*

hahahaha cheebai

2009-11-13T19:39:28Z

I.
so i logged into youtube to put this video in my favourites list....

II.
....when i was prompted to subscribe to nypdmsm's channel. i was aghast to find that all the MS0501's DFVP 'hobby' ICA videos were ~~uploaded to be criticized~~ hung out to be massacred by the juniors.. including:

III.
i was in limbo - to laugh or to cry? as i choked on the two i then went back to my old uploaded videos and contemplated taking them down before they, too, are taken to the gallows. it turns out that this time, my executioners turn out to be fucking warner music group.

LOL. i've been a happy pirate for as long as i remember and while i've never feared it, i've always wondered what the long ~~disco stick~~ arm of the ~~jude~~ law felt like. i wondered, does it hurt?

turns out that its more... ticklish. so i sent in a dispute form but then i kind of messed it up by choosing the wrong checkbox. i don't really know how to fix that but it seems to work fine now just that i finally get to be a nerd and have a long notice ('this work was produced for the nonprofit and educational purpose of an assesment for module BM0682 - Digital Film & Video Production Integrated Projects in fall 2006 for Diploma in Media Studies and Management in Nanyang Polytechnic and constitutes a fair use of any copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US copyright law.') on the info box.

you can see me hiding behind a book at 03:51 - sial lah, i've gained so much weight. i would wail right about now but that would make me a wailing whale and that is sungguh tak attractive. also lightstand DAMN OBVIOUSLY in shot at 04:48 HAHAHAHHAHAHA. i should shoot myself in the eyes. can you believe NONE OF US noticed that, even during edit?! (then again more recently other industry professionals didn't notice a talent's damn obvious nipplegate all the way until almost tx but thats a blind item for you to not know and for me to keep to myself. hehe.)

sidenote:
one of the boys from the parkour video recently got himself into trouble a couple of weeks back too, and now two of the other genso boys (including my brother) are trying their best to be at their friend's side in his time of need. his sister is an old friend too and my prayers are with him and their family. i've got people in the videos that i miss a whole lot, some that i don't even talk to anymore and some i wish i was a better friend to. but i really enjoyed working with them all and i hope they enjoyed my company too. i'm really grateful i got good people as friends who've been so generous with their love. thank you guys, and i'm sorry growing up (and growing apart) sucks.

IV.
yeah growing up sucks, why did we want to be adults when we were teenagers? why did we want to be teenaged when we were children? bah humbugs. YOU GO TELL THAT TO HAMMADAH RAMDHAN KHAN.

seng il chook ha hamni da arrrrrrmmadaahhhh. 축 생일!
sarang haiyo! :D

ok fine, i kid. you know i love you and i wish the best for you. i'm very very proud of all that you've endured and achieved. you're getting lovelier by the day and your space cowboy has a very gorgeous awek indeed. so now you're 21 you're not a girl anymore, YOU'RE A LADY and i think you should know that aside from all our 'mat kental' ness i know deep down that you will make one fine woman and i'm very syukur that i have you for a friend. joyeux anniversaire mon ami. je t'aime beaucoup (:

bedahbelacan @ 2009-11-12T02:49:00

2009-11-11T18:58:38Z

i was looking through jessica's pictures on facebook at random and i suddenly realised that i miss my poly schoolmates ridiculously. i see yu ran every month or so, and i still talk to diy often. i see mia, aretha and cherri almost every day in school and i hear from diana and mawar (hello ilovepongpong) ever so often. i even fbchat with azhar at random. but still.

its not the same as back when we were MS0501.
i wish i was nicer to all of them back then.
actually, i wish i was a nicer person now.

obamanation abomination

2009-11-08T19:44:16Z

....
More serious perhaps was Mr Obama's strange disconnectedness over the Fort Hood massacre of 13 soldiers by an Army major and devout Muslim who opposed the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, had praised suicide bombing and shouted "Allahu Akbar" as he opened fire.

Maybe Mr Obama had been reading the American press, much of which somehow contrived to present the atrocity as a result of combat stress due to soldiers going on repeated war deployments (though Major Nadal Hasan had not been on any) and therefore, no doubt, Mr Bush's fault.

When the television networks cut to the President, viewers listened to him spend more than two surreal minutes talking to a gathering of Native Americans about their "extraordinary" and "extremely productive" conference, pausing to give a cheery "shout out" to a man named Dr Joe Medicine Crow. Only then did he briefly and mechanically address what had happened in Texas.

On Friday, when most of the basic facts were available, Mr Obama tried again. It was scarcely any better. He began by offering "an update on the tragedy that took place" - as if it was an earthquake and not a terrorist attack from an enemy within - and ended with a promise for more "updates in the coming days and weeks".

Completely missing was the eloquence that Mr Obama employs when talking about himself. Absent too was any sense that the President empathised with the families and comrades of those murdered.

It was a reminder that for the past 16 years Americans have had two Presidents who would often extemporise and express emotion. President Bill Clinton could certainly "feel your pain" while Mr Bush sometimes struggled to hold back tears. (WHOT?!?!) Mr Obama is more like President George Bush Snr, who famously communicated his concern for people by blurting out: "Message - I care."

The White House argues that Mr Obama was not on the ballot last week and there is therefore no need to fret. The problem with this complacency is that voters were angry about the state of the economy, which Mr Obama can't keep blaming on his predecessor. With unemployment now above 10 per cent, Mr Obama needs to show Americans that he can relate to what they're going through, and take responsibility.

It could do him good to show he has a bit of fire in his belly. Perhaps he might make a decision or two based on gut instinct and deep conviction. In other words, maybe he should try being a bit more like Mr Bush.

OH NO YOU DID NOT

sauce: Toby Harnden's American Way for telegraph.co.uk [otherwise known as what the fuck is this, i don't even.....]

pasal korang semua dah start senti-MENTEL

2009-10-27T03:42:15Z

it was so cold in that room sampai everything in sight was coated in white and hues of light blue. i rolled away from naza's butt, annoyed because i was cold and i furiously needed to pee. i stood up groggily and mindlessly turned to the general direction of aisha's bed and asked if i could sleep next door instead. the tiny figure under the red comforter could have easily been the birthday girl or yati but sure enough she croaked at me to turn up the a/c instead. right then i turned to see the rest of them sleeping soundlessly while me and my morning breath contemplated langkar-ing over madah to get to the toilet. they were fanned out like a giant scallop shell on the floor, every one of them resembling the grooves on the shell. or maybe a snowcone - bundled up in blankets, cold feet bound together to form the narrow point at the bottom spreading out to the wide top of the sheets with their heads hardly poking out. most of their ruffled hair fluffed out, macam ice cream swirls. so i decided not to pee, nanti my walking stepping over their heads would destroy the nice picture.

it still looked liked everything was coated in powder but i was too malas to rub my eyes. i went back to sleep next to my milahtants instead, because even if it was nail-biting, pee-freezing cold (haha cheesiness, INCOMING!)... their loveliness was warming my heart.

got to hold on, hold on to yourself

2009-10-22T13:01:24Z

a cry of hope, a plea for peace - and my conscience beating. it's not what i want for.. it's all that i need to reach the break of day. so i run to the edge of the shadow of a doubt, with my conscience bleeding. here lies the truth, the lost treasures of my youth as i hold on to the break of day. when you've lost all hope and excuses, and the cheapskates and the losers... nothing's left to cling on to.

bedahbelacan @ 2009-10-14T11:17:00

2009-10-14T03:20:41Z

it's official. i'm going to cry. eta: when my brother came home last night, i jumped on him to tell him the news. we were screaming around the house, and he ran into my room with his fists pumping the air. 'damnit woman, we're standing front and center! i will bring four slaves to carry us in the air! no slaves, ill get an elephant i dont care!' from behind him, ibu peeked through the door. she had a kueh in her hand, and she frowned as she chewed. 'kawan siapa nak datang in january?'

the rest of the world is getting tinier as the rock i live under gets more comfortable

2009-10-13T08:16:00Z

the handphone is officially kaputt. torrid. vapid. barren. totaled. out of kilter, on the fritz. GONE CASE. am only contactable via facebook, msn and my mother. if you need me and cant get to me - then it sucks to be you.

obamanation and schmolitics

2009-10-11T05:58:06Z

This is not the way I expected to wake up this morning. After I received the news, Malia walked in and said “Daddy, you won the Nobel Peace Prize… and it is Bo’s birthday.” And then Shasha added, “plus we have a three day weekend coming up.”. So, it’s good to have kids to keep things in perspective.

I am both surprised and deeply humbled by the decision of the Nobel Committee. Let me be clear, I do not view it as a recognition of my own accomplishments but rather as a affirmation of American leadership on behalf of aspirations held by people in all nations.

To be honest I do not feel that I deserve to be in the company of so many of the transformative figures who’ve been honoured by this prize -men and women who’ve inspired me and inspired the entire world through their courageous pursuit of peace. But I also know this prize reflects the kind of world these men and women and all Americans want to build - a world that gives life to the promise of our founding documents. And I know that throughout history the Nobel Peace Prize has not just been used to honour specific achievements, it’s also been used as a means to give momentum to a set of causes.

And that is why I will accept this award as a call to action - a call for all nations to confront the common challenges of the 21^st century. These challenges can’t be met by any one leader, or any one nation, and that is why my administration worked to establish a new era of engagement in which all nations must take responsibility for the world we seek.

We cannot tolerate a world in which nuclear weapons spread to more nations, in which the terror of a nuclear holocaust endangers more people. And that’s why we’ve begun to take concrete steps to pursue a world without nuclear weapons - because all nations have the right to pursue peaceful nuclear power but all nations have the right to demonstrate their peaceful intentions.

We cannot accept the growing threat posed by climate change, which could forever damage the world that we pass on to our children - sowing conflict and famine, destroying coastlines and emptying cities. And that’s why all nations must now accept their share of responsibility for transforming the way that we use energy.

We can’t allow the differences between people to define the way that we see one another. That’s why we must pursue a new beginning among people of different faiths and races and religions. One based upon mutual interest and mutual respect. And we must all do our part to resolve those conflicts that have caused so much pain and hardship over so many years – and that effort must include a non-wavering commitment to finally realize the rights of all Israelis and Palestinians to live in security in nations of their own.

We can’t accept a world in which more people are denied opportunity and dignity that all people yearn for – the ability to get an education and make a decent living, the security that you won’t have to live in fear of disease or violence without hope for the future. Even as we strive to seek a world in which conflicts are resolved peacefully and prosperity is widely shared, we have to confront the world as we know it today.

I am the Commander in Chief of a country that’s responsible for ending a war and working in another theatre to confront a ruthless adversary that directly threatens the American people and our allies. I’m also aware that we are dealing with the impact of a global economic crisis that has left millions of Americans looking for work. These are concerns that I confront everyday on behalf of the American people

Some of the work confronting us will not be completed during my presidency. Some, like the elimination of nuclear weapons may not be completed in my lifetime. But I know these challenges can be met, so long as it’s recognized that they will not be met by one person or one nation alone.

This award is not simply by the efforts of my administration, it’s about the courageous efforts of people around the world. And that’s why this award must be shared with everyone who strives for justice and dignity – for the young woman who marches silently in the streets on behalf of her right to be heard, even in the face of beatings and bullets. For the leader imprisoned in her own home because she refuses to abandon her commitment to democracy. For the soldier who sacrificed through tour after tour of duty on behalf of someone half a world away. And for all those men and women across the world who sacrifice their safety and their freedom and sometimes their lives, for the cause of peace. That has always been the cause of America. That’s why the world has always looked to America, and that’s why I believe America will continue to lead.

Thank you very much.
--

Thorbjorn Jagland, Chairman, Norwegian Nobel Committee:
Because.. President Barack Obama – he has made extraordinary efforts to improve the international climate and strengthen international diplomacy and also the fact that he has endorsed a so called zero-vision approach for a world free of nuclear arms. So he have done a lot already. So that’s why we have awarded him the prize this year.

CNN:
A great many people are delighted, some are shocked. He’s been in office less than a year – most of what he’s tried he’s really just at the start of. Was the committee acting a little… fast?

Chairman Jagland:
No, not at all. We wanted to promote what he stands for and this is a longstanding history of the Nobel committee, namely to try to enhance a set of ideals that Barack Obama is promoting and it is not the first time that we’ve given the prize to one that’s STARTED a process – for instance, here in Europe when Willy Brandt launched the so-called Ostopolitik, this was the starting of the process that ended with the fall of the Berlin Wall many many years later and when Mikhail Gorbachev got the prize also we want to promote what he has done for and what he has already done.

CNN:
I keep coming back to the very basic fact that won’t be lost on the people of Iraq or Afghanistan or many people around the world – he’s leading two different wars. Is he really the right man to name as the world’s most distinguished peace maker?

Chairman Jagland:
The (undecipherable, sorry) that concerns us all. And we do want to emphasize that there is a need now for strengthening diplomacy for resolving conflict and that’s what Barack Obama is trying to do and also changing the international climate of international politics and one could hope that this could help resolve also the conflict. I would like to add also that other people have to respond positively and this also a message from the committee, namely that we want other leaders, other people, other nations also to go along with his concept namely to resolve conflicts within the framework of diplomacy and within the framework of international institutions.

CNN:
Now the Norwegian Nobel Committee has a long and honourable tradition of secrecy surrounding it’s discussions but can you tell me, is it true that this year you had trouble reaching a concensus….

Chairman Jagland:
Oh no.

CNN:
...- and can you tell me of the voting members…

Chairman Jagland:
No, no.

CNN:
How many people actually voted for him?

Chairman Jagland:
No, everyone. We had no problems at all. This was a speculation from those who don’t know anything about it. So it’s untrue.

CNN:
No problem at all? But how many people voted for him? Out of five voting members… Can I ask..

Chairman Jagland:
Five!

CNN:
....It’s a symbol of.. It’s a question of some curiosity on my part. How many people did it take for Barack Obama to win in this year’s Nobel Prize?

Chairman Jagland:
No, no. We need all the members of the committee and everyone was, the entire audit was unanimous discussion.

CNN:
Unanimous?

Chairman Jagland:
This was the decision.

---

----
* i personally feel that the outcry from the people (not governments, not organisations or most importantly, NOT the media) goes to show how much obama has permeated the public agenda and that in itself shows the difference he's made in the world.. the amount of awareness he's accumulated. michael steele, chairman of the republican party says obama won because of his "star power" rather than any meaningful accomplishments - and while i doubt that its the entire reason he won, i think mr steele shot himself in the foot because i kind of agree. i feel star power's got a good deal to do with it, because 'star power' leads to credibility and trust, something a good politician needs to push for better policies. even if his rhetoric is seemingly indah khabar dari rupa, its driven so many people who otherwise do not care for politics to stand up and think and more importantly, make their voices heard - in the us AND otherwise. i do not know if his achievements, in this case, overshadows the other nobel nominees but i seriously doubt he was a lame duck, all talk no show guy. i hope he goes on an earns this merit now. insyallah.

bedahbelacan @ 2009-10-09T00:28:00

2009-10-08T16:33:08Z

my ibu's got a husband and she hates that dick and the guy!
she tells me every day woo! everyday now
he wants more dinero just to stay at home stay at home!
well my mummy -
you gotta say:

I won't pay, I won't pay ya woo, no way no way!
now now Why don't you get a job woo - get a job!
Say no way, say no way ya, no way
now now Why don't you get a job
oh yeah!
I won't give ya no money
I always pay
now now Why don't you get a job get a job!

birth chart!

2009-10-04T18:19:31Z

bedahbelacan @ 2009-09-27T23:59:00

2009-09-27T16:00:04Z

i have a god - i just don't listen to her

ah alfie - i'm still a fan

2009-09-23T15:00:45Z

- It disturbed me that Judge Neighbour had described this ‘fabric’ as ‘delicate’. What this suggests is that the bonds between the different ethnic and religious communities in Singapore are still fragile. That mutual respect exists outwardly, but slips back into mutual suspicion behind closed doors. That ‘tolerance’ as a governing principle of dealing with the ethnic other has failed us.

- But what if we were to introduce an ethics of forgiveness into our concept of inter-ethnic relations? What if we temper our natural demands for justice with the possibility that even those who have hurt us the most still deserve our pardon?

On tolerance, sedition and forgiveness

- But considering how Hokkien words have entered the Malay language, I have realized that there is a larger truth to that statement. It’s like tracing a family tree and then discovering that I had a Hokkien great-great-great-great grandmother. As a matter of fact, since almost two-thirds of the Malay lexicon consists of borrowings, I definitely had Arabic and Indian (linguistic) ancestors too.

- Somehow, our forefathers, of various races, knew how to pakat against common enemies, were able to kongsi their resources, and in the process of all that champur became kamcheng with one another. The product of their alliances, friendships and inter-marriages is reflected in the language they have passed on to us.

Is Hokkien My 'Mother Tongue'?

minal aidil walfaizin

2009-09-21T05:44:49Z

not the best orator, and OMG awkward edits and horror lighting… but he’s got points. am not so hot about the ethnocentric melayu maju talk (because, in actual truth eh pakcik… the ‘group’ would abuse special rights and take them forgranted anyway. the sultan himself is a tres excellente case in point) and you might not care because politics, schmolitics right? but listen, he’s really talking about you and the need for your participation for a fair and just democracy... uhm, under the guise of a selamat hari raya message lah.

**transcript from subtitles edited as i watched the video

Assalamualaikum warrah matullah hiwabarakatu

Brothers and sisters,
We are coming to the end of the blessed month of Ramadhan, awaiting the arrival of Syawal and Eid Ul Fitr celebrations. As we rejoice and dine with relatives and friends, we should not forget the less privileged, including those who have lost their jobs during the current economic crisis. As responsible citizens, we should be aware of what is happening around us.

We should avoid situations that can result in us turning into a community that is dependant on alms. We need to identify the root cause of the ever-widening income disparity between the rich and regular working citizen. We need to ask why it is that after working our fingers to the bone, our income does not match the work put into it. We need to ask why during a celebration such as this, there are many who cannot afford to celebrate in the true meaning that is intended. We also need to ask what makes our leaders exceptional that they deserve an income two hundred times more than that of regular citizens.

In times of celebration such as this, we reminisce the days when citizens of all races shared celebrations. Everyone was able to converse in a language understood by all. With that, the nostalgia brings forth a longing for the revival of the kampung spirit – though were have become an urban society swarmed by modern and sophisticated tools. What must we do to bring our beloved Singapore back to the era where solidarity transcended all races? How can we genuinely forge solidarity among the various ethnicities as opposed to superficial tolerance? How do we narrow the income gap so that unity among the people can be forged in a more effective manner? How do we continue ensuring that a single group does not dominate every sphere of activity?

It is true that the number of the educated among us has increased. The same can be said of those who have acquired better skills. But can we ensure that the qualifications we possess will guarantee a more comfortable life, especially in view of the tough competition due to the presence of foreign workers who have flooded our country? What guarantee is there that the qualifications we possess will reap a larger income instead of being overshadowed by foreign employees?

One way to solve the problem that we are facing is to regain our rights to free speech as guaranteed by the constitution. With this right, we can strive to find ways to ensure that every policy that is formulated and implemented is in the people’s interest and for the benefit of every group of Singaporean. Do not be misled by words that give the impression that we are entitled to and given special privileges as enshrined in the Constitution. Do not let this be the excuse for not treating everyone on an equal basis when in truth, the group that is supposed to have special rights is not receiving anything more than what is accorded to other Singaporeans.

We are seeking to be treated equally in all aspects of life and not to be discriminated in any manner whatsoever. Only when there is social justice whereby the absence of any manner of discrimination against any group can the kampung spirit be revived, only then can festivities like Hari Raya be celebrated with lots of joy by all regardless of race or status in life.

To all Muslims Singaporeans, we in the SDP wish you Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

To all our Indian Muslim brothers and sisters, our best wishes for Aidilfitri!

----- En. Jufrie Mahmood

meh. like i said, not the best orator.

bedahbelacan @ 2009-09-19T18:12:00

2009-09-19T10:15:54Z

i found a copy of a letter i wrote three years ago while cleaning my room. i've kind of been looking for it, but after re-reading what i said i realised that i'm an emotional retard. so now its in itty bitty pieces and going to be thrown away. if he still has his copy i hope to god he does the same.